Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Big Momma, big tipper

As some of you may know, I have a second job delivering pizzas. My full-time job as a newspaper editor pays OK, but the money gets a little thin when paying for a family of four.

So, I worked my second job last night and walked into a hilarious little scene.

It was a slow delivery night on Tuesday. Instead of rushing from house to house delivering pies, I was sitting around the store talking nonsense with the other drivers. Then finally a delivery popped up. It was to, (dramatic pause here) The Retreat.

The Retreat apartments, formerly known as the Cresent, is pure ghetto. Every time I go there, I feel the constant need to look over my shoulder. The buildings in the complex are very old, the carpet in the hallways is usually torn up and the graffiti is plentiful. And the worst part, it is known as a place that doesn't tip.

So, I was off to The Retreat. I got there with relative ease and even found the apartment I was looking for pretty quickly. Since the sun was still up, I could actually see the numbers of the usually dark complex.

I got out of my car and walk up to the apartment. After a few knocks on the door I hear some loud cursing from within. I could hear this woman slowly walking to the door, struggling to catch her breath and letting expletives fly when she did.

She finally answered the door and a little embarrassed, the large black woman said, "Oh, I'm sorry. I thought it was those kids playing at the door."

I handed her her two pizzas, wings and cheesy bread. After telling her the total, she said to hold on and she closed the door halfway. There was a little Border Collie puppy sitting just inside the door, so I petted him some while Big Momma was searching for money. I could see her pull some out of one pocket, then another, then pulled some off a table. It was quite an ordeal, but I waited.

Finally she handed me a wad of cash. I quickly counted it and handed her the change she was due. Big Momma looked at me as I tried to hand her money and said "Oh no, honey that's yours."

She then handed me another wad of cash and said, "Now your getting this big tip, because I think your kinda cute!"

I took the money, thanked her and then quickly walked back to the car. The whole thing felt a bit strange, and I have seen a lot of things delivering pizzas. As soon as I got to the car I counted out the money. She gave me an $11 tip! Eleven bucks from the Retreat is like hitting the lotto, but meeting and being hit on by Big Momma was priceless!

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